Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Well that means in order to be successful, you first must have a goal, but how do we come up with that? The typical thought of a successful person is someone with a nice car, a big house, and high paying job. So their goal then was to have a nice car, a big house, and a high paying job. They have achieved that, but now what? The common idea that life fulfillment is just one purchase away, with the new car or that bigger house, must reach it’s breaking point eventually. Soon you’ll be standing in your 10 car garage deciding which Ferrari you want to drive to your second beach house in the Hamptons this weekend, feeling like your missing something. The truth is, most people don’t actually experience more happiness by having bigger and better things, so long as they have something reliable and comfortable already. Even the happiness you receive from getting a raise only increases until $100,000*(Kahneman & Deaton 2010)**.
So lets reimagine modern success. The problem is our goals, they are focused on the wrong things. If our goal was to achieve success to feel happy and fulfilled, then constantly moving the goalpost to upgrade our lives will put you in a endless cycle of unfulfillment. Data has shown that what brings us true happiness in life are not material items, they are spending time with people we care about, helping others, and being recognized for contributing to society (Post 2011; See Dr. Arthur Brooks).
There is also something to be said about setting and achieving difficult tasks. Challenging ourselves on purpose goes against our natural instincts. Our brain wants us to go through life as easily as possible, conserving our energy and reproducing. This worked great as a survival method for millions of years, but in our developed countries we no longer need this skill, and in fact it is making our lives worse. This is part of the reason we can’t get off the couch to go to the gym. Think about the last time you planned to go to the gym, but when you got home from work your brain started making rational excuses. Something along the lines of “I worked so hard today and I didn’t sleep great last night so I am extra tired, which means my workout will be half-assed anyways. I might as well take a rest day today to be ready to go for tomorrow’s workout.” Tomorrow’s workout never came. Don’t worry, you aren’t alone, I do it all the time and so do millions of other people. Now think about how you felt after the last time you worked out. Most likely you felt really good, probably could think clearer and slept better that night. Doing hard things, especially physical activities, release chemicals inside our brains called endorphins. Endorphins, also known as the “feel good” chemical, reduce stress, improve mood, increase our sense of wellbeing.
All of this is to say that “modern success” is the wrong type of success. We should be focusing on spending time with people we love and working on tasks that challenge us but give us a sense of accomplishment after completion. We can live in a smaller house, drive an older car, and make less money. Or better yet, save more money and invest it so we can retire early and spend more time doing the things we love.
*Adjusted for inflation since the 2010 study. The original number was $75,000, today that would equate to roughly $106,000.
**There has since been research conducted by a Senior Fellow, Matthew Killingsworth, at the University of Pennsylvania that has shown the original study really measured unhappiness, not happiness. He has also shown that an increase in money can keep bringing short term happiness for already happy people. The number discussed by Kahneman and Deaton was more accurately a threshold that represented those who are unhappy would see no benefit in wellbeing from increased income. (Princeton 2023)
